Connecting with Your Children
Updated on: by Miranda Grimm
I began working from home so I could be present in the lives of my children. Yet it is that very thing that makes working from home the hardest!
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One of the first phrases my youngest daughter learned was “I Busy”…something she heard all too often from me!
I tell myself all the time that I only work at night- after my girls are in bed. I may do just a few things here and there during the day when they are busy playing…so I say.
Reality has rarely seen truth in that ideal daily schedule. I often think I would be doing my children better if I were to take them to daycare and let them play and be active with other people, than to sit at home and watch me work.
Maybe I am too hard on myself but one thing I know for certain- My mommy instinct is well worth taking seriously. Everything in me says this is far from right.
Thanks to some beautiful weather and maybe me just being sick and tired of being presently absent, I have made some seriously major changes over the last couple of weeks.
If you stalk me then you have noticed 😉 I have not been very socially active around the web. If you are a close friend of mine- NO I am not upset with you. I am not ignoring you. I am doing what is right for my family- reconnecting. I simply don’t have a lot of time anymore. I’m planning what I will be wearing to the next Princess Ball Tea Party and riding my bicycle up and down the road.
My children are looking at me with a whole new pair of eyes. I am showing them what it means to be priority in my life. I don’t want them to think they are less important than my computer. I believe part of raising them to be confident in the feeling that they are important is by treating them like they ARE.
Of course, I still need to bring in some bacon. So finding a balance that works for me will be a constant. Life is always changing and although working from home is flexible, it also means I must be flexible.
While I will still occasionally tell my children to “please go play, I am busy”. I am vowing to never let it interfere with my relationship with them.
They are only young once and boy time is flying by. I will never get yesterday back. But I can learn from it and make tomorrow a better day.
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Let’s face it- this is part of the Work at Home Adventure. We are forging our own paths, learning from our own mistakes- let’s get this whole mommy working from home thing right.
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March 24, 2012 at 12:19 am
I feel the same way. I do medical transcription from home and there are so many times I ask myself if it’s truly right for us. I love being able to be there for school activities and everything else that comes along, but I do only limit myself to working after the kids go to bed which in turn makes some very late nights for me. There are many nights I only get 4 or 5 hours of sleep and then I’m basically good for nothing the next day. It’s a vicious cycle. I have vowed to at least be “there” for the second half of the day. To do this I will have to take a nap when my youngest naps and then I’ll be rested up for when the other kids get home from school so I’m not at the end of my rope for homework, cooking dinner, baths, and play time.
I applaud you for realizing that changes need to be made and finding a way to implement them. Unfortunately, even though I’m married I’m basically a single parent. My husband works 2nd shift and when he gets home at night he can’t go right to bed so he’s up late (sometimes he gets to bed well before I do) and then sleeps almost right up until he has to get up and get ready to leave for work. He does this 6 days a week and when he’s home on Sundays that’s when I usually get to clean the house and catch up on other things that have been put on hold throughout the week. Once I get into the swing of things I will try my hardest to work while my daughter naps so I won’t have to stay up so late at night. The only problem is that I don’t always get my work for the day in time for that so it’s just going to be a juggling act.
Good luck & I hope your kids get some great memories from having a Mom that is so committed to her children.
March 24, 2012 at 12:26 am
Thank you for commenting Michelle. My husband is a truck driver, regional but still gone quite a bit. I feel your struggles. I too find myself up late, usually until 2 am. I get up at 7am.
5 hours of sleep a night is fine, until I do it consistently. Then it takes its toll.
But sometimes I feel there is no other option. I need to work, I need to be a mom, I need to take care of my house…how does all of this happen within a 24 hour period?
On another side of the story, at least our children are seeing us working hard. Up close and personal. They may not appreciate it now, but one day when they are adults they will look back and appreciate it. They will probably be hard workers as well and value their own children too.
Balance is key. But hard to master. Especially since the game plan must change day to day.
I wish you the best and thank you for sharing!
March 24, 2012 at 8:30 am
I bought a frisbee yesterday. I will be using it today, outside, with my son. Yes, I’ll watch Tron for the one billionth time with him, and listen to him explain alllllll the characters because he’s sure I don’t remember who’s who.
I do see the green on the schedule. I did get that email from my boss asking for “just a few hours” to play catch up this afternoon. I won’t be doing either.
They’re only young once!!
Great post, and thanks for sharing. I think maybe, too, it’s something about Spring!! 🙂 It’s revitalizing, and we have to take advantage of that!
March 24, 2012 at 8:56 am
Yes! Definitely something aboit spring and its renewing power. A rebirth so to speak. It kills me that I didn’t take this seriously before, but thankful to have seen the light.
March 25, 2012 at 10:21 am
Great post! Work at home is work. And while flexible, I still find myself struggling to find that perfect balance of work and life. The problem is that never is perfect.
While I enjoy the flexibility, I am trying to stick more to a schedule.
March 26, 2012 at 8:37 am
I keep trying to stick to a schedule, but that is also not working. I think for me, I have to stop fighting against what is happening and accept having a wild schedule until my kids are in school. Whatever works 🙂
March 26, 2012 at 7:31 am
I am so happy to know that I am not alone in these feelings! I have been attempting to focus more one-on-one attention on my kids. They see me at the computer a lot, and while I’m happy that they are seeing me working and being productive, they still need the playful Mommy who makes their day brighter and more exciting! It doesn’t take long to play a game, make a fun breakfast or even help with chores and schoolwork…with 100% attention instead of between glances at the computer screen! Thanks for writing this…it helps to know that other WAHM struggle with guilt feelings and a desire to connect with their kids in a meaningful way. 🙂
March 26, 2012 at 8:39 am
Sounds like we have been going through very similar things! I keep hoping that when they start school all day that things will be easier- thinking I will work while they are in school and do a few things at night after they are in bed. It seems like I would be able to be available while they are home…but then I wonder if I am dreaming and reality will set in once that time comes…lets hope not!