As a work at home mom, many of us first decided to work from home for the sake of our children. We want to be there for every milestone, be the one instilling their values and help to create who they are. We chose not to hand over those responsibilities to a family member or a stranger at a daycare. We are work at home MOMS.
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But most of us did not realize just how often we would be left with feelings of guilt. We worry we do not spend enough time with our children. Are we neglecting our kids because we work from home? Or is that just another thing, as a mother, we carry as a burden- always worrying we could do better?
Jessica Weaver, a work at home mother of two, believes,
“all mothers have what we like to call “mommy guilt.” It’s that nagging feeling we have all day…! Every day I wonder if I am doing something right. I think…am I better off taking them to daycare since I am not giving them my attention 100%. I nag at myself all day because I am trying to be the best mother possible but I am also trying to help bring in an income. I am a worrier by nature.”
Jessica’s view is probably pretty common of Work at Home Mothers. When I first began working from home I only worked when my daughter was napping or asleep for the night. Then, life changed, I had another baby and I began also working when my husband was home…things are always changing. Now my husband is gone a lot, my children are a bit older and I find myself working at all hours of the day…in spurts. I take advantage of every single time my children are busy or occupying themselves.
I realized recently, when I was concerned about my daily schedule being so erratic, that it is simply based on my children. They are my priority. However, I will admit there have been times I encourage them to watch a movie so I can get a little more work done. I am also no stranger to asking my kids to give me just a few more minutes so I can work just a little bit more.
If guilt comes nagging at your back- stop and evaluate your situation. If you find your kids are bored and constantly being pushed aside so you can work, maybe it is time to take a break and enjoy some time with them…they ARE the reason you are home anyway! But more likely than not you will probably be able to reassure yourself that you are simply balancing life.
I believe it is good for your children to have some alone time and be self-sufficient. Letting them fend for themselves, with guidance, is an important part of their growing up. But just as you find a balance between work-life and home-life, be sure to balance your one-on-one time with your children. They do still need your interaction and attention- no matter their age.
Jessica Weaver reminded me that regardless of our choice to stay home or work outside of home, we would still carry guilt-
“When I was working full time I had mommy guilt and now that I am working at home I have mommy guilt. Whatever stage of life we are in- we will always have guilt. But it is our job to not let our kids see the worry in us. Someone BIGGER than ourselves wants us to let HIM do the worrying. After all…he created us and HE doesn’t have mommy guilt. My goal every day is to hand over my worries and frustrations because those burdens are too big for this mommy to carry on her own.”
How do you handle Work at Home Mom guilt? Does the guilt simply remind you to stop and enjoy the moment?
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