What it Means to be a Work at Home Mom
Updated on: by Miranda Grimm
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There is a striking difference between the titles “Stay at Home Mom” and a “Work at Home Mom”. Yet, somehow I keep thinking I am both.
Obviously the difference being between one key word- Work. Being a working mom involves one big painful giant
Truth is- kids, a house, spouse and other obligations are a FULL TIME job. Ask any Stay at Home Mom how much spare time they have and they will laugh. So, how do we manage to fit work in as a work at home mom? Well, that means someone or something is being sacrificed.
I have talked on this subject countless times. We are all seeking out this ideal perfect balance of family, house, work, life etc… I feel kind of embarrassed to be talking about it once again. But something happened the other week, something slapped me across the face.
I thought I was doing pretty good with this whole balancing act. But then my daughter quietly said something.
“You never have enough time for me”
I said something slapped me across the face– but it was more like a punch in the nose. My five year old daughter asked me to play a game with her and I tried to blow her off so I could get work done. And she said something that stopped me in my tracks and evaluate my life priorities.
Here I am again…
Maybe this is all a sick joke God is playing on me– seeing how many times I fall back into the cycle of letting work get the better of me and then realizing I have set my kids aside too many times. Sometimes I feel like an Israelite wondering through the desert.
How will I break this curse?
Once again- where are my priorities? I chose to become a work at home mom because I wanted to spend as much time with my kids as possible but I knew my family needed additional financial support. I am hugely blessed to be able to have the option of working from home but what good is this gift if I spend all of my time sitting at a computer. Wasn’t I suppose to be engaging with my girls, creating relationships that couldn’t be broken?
Maybe I am exaggerating. But when you hear your 5 year old say “you never have enough time for me” it sure feels like we have a broken relationship.
So I have faced and accepted the following 5 facts:
- I will never have extra time
- Any time spent working means something is being sacraficed
- It is better to have a dirty house than neglected children
- Time is easily wasted if focus is lost
- Prioritizing my work is equally as important as prioritizing life
In the meantime I will be reminding my kids how important they are to me. Yes, I know they can stand to be alone and play by themselves from time to time. But I choose to listen to my kids. When a 5 year old makes a statement like above, at least MY 5 year old, I realize she is being effected. She didn’t say it to try to manipulate me into doing what she wanted (I know my daughter). She was genuinely hurting.
I may not be here to blog as often as I was in the past- but Work at Home Adventures will be around.
The doors are staying open but the hours of operation sign has been taken down.
- Does Being a Work at Home Mom Mean Your Children are Neglected?
- Internal Battles of a Work at Home Mom
- Honest Advice From a Work at Home Mom
- Working from Home: 5 Reasons it is Different than You Thought it Would Be
- Warning Signs and Red Flags to Be Aware of When Applying for a Work at Home Job
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December 7, 2012 at 3:06 pm
I’m the same way. If my daughter says that she wants to play, I will sometimes say I have to work, but I will always say, “After I get this one article done.” I think it’s important to show them that work is important, but that they are important too. Going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, is hard, but it’s so worth it to be a WAHM. 🙂
December 7, 2012 at 3:23 pm
I know the feeling all too well. It’s hard to prioritize when everything seems so important, but kids win over everything. It’s okay to lose track of our priorities. A nonfluid lifestyle requires constant readjustment. Just do what feels right! Good luck!
December 7, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Great points, Miranda! I am equally guilty of occasionally putting important things aside because I need to do something with my blog, etc. And it makes me feel horrible when I have to (or think I have to) tell my children, “I will in just a minute.” My kids are masters of saying “In just a minute” because they’ve heard it from me so much!
I honestly don’t think that the perfect balance exists and I’ve stopped looking for it. The three things I juggle all day, work, the house, my kids, are always playing tug of war with me. At the end of the day however I just feel blessed that while I do have to work and take time away from them during the day, at least I’m here and they can see me and I can drop everything if need be while I work. That wouldn’t be the case if I worked outside the home. But I agree it’s crucial to sometimes to set work aside and give your kids your undivided attention — they are THE most important thing and why we do what we do!
December 7, 2012 at 9:15 pm
Excellent post, Miranda. I am struggling with the “perfect balance” too and I agree with Anna. I don’t think it exists either.
I’ve always known that BOTH WAHM and SAHM “work” hard whether for pay or not.
While I don’t have children at home, I am caring for elderly parents both at my house and a few miles from my home–so it can be a challenge. I feel for those raising kids AND caring for elderly parents.
I love your 5 facts too. I just decide what absolutely has to be done at home and at work and do THAT. Things do have to be rescheduled or put on hold sometimes.
December 7, 2012 at 10:28 pm
I agree with Anna a lot here. Being home with my kids during the day means that I am the person they answer too. If I were not working at home I would be working 12-14 hour days as a teacher. I do not consider myself a sahm and I know very well I am a working mom.
Sacrifices are being made from all ends, but at the end of the day I work because I know I’m supporting my kids and giving them the best life possible. While I may not be able to play with them every minute, they will always know I loved them and wanted to provide for them.